Yearning to Fly, Fearing the Fall

Photo by Michal on

I used to have the same dream repeatedly in my youth; I would be doing something very ordinary like walking down the stairs from my bedroom to the living room in my parents’ home and just when I was only on the second or third step from the top, I would trip and begin falling. Almost always, I was able to stay asleep and present in the dream, full of fear of the fall.

My entire body would tense up, I could feel my jaw clench and my hands turn to tiny fists of granite. Just before the SPLAT! however, I would release, arch my back and turning my face to the sky, and I would will myself to fly.

Spoiler alert – I flew my happy little ass off!!

Like a drunken baby sparrow, I teetered and tottered and turned cartwheels in the sky, free as I had never imagined I could be; far away from all the discord and chaos of humanity and up in the cool clouds with the wind my constant companion.

The actual birds of the sky would fly by me with expressions of curiosity, some with traces of distain for this curly haired wingless creature who shouldn’t be able to fly, but there she was.

I felt a happiness in my soul that even after the dream was over and I awoke, stayed with me for a time. I can feel the memory of it some times even now. I haven’t had that dream in decades, but it’s message has become clearer over the years; free yourself from your fears and you can rise to the challenge. I feel it is a Universal Truth.

Fear is good if you are faced with a hungry bear and you are covered in honey or if you cut yourself on a coral reef and a couple of sharks are out for their Friday night dinner date. But in everyday life, fear only serves to immobilize and stop us because we cannot see the threat, we cannot run from ourselves (said from personal experience and the only time I ever willingly ran at all) no matter how much we desire the escape.

Fear deceives us into believing the limits that we see as solid, concrete walls that we cannot get around, nor can we climb. The reality is they are only constructs that fear has built (all of this is happening in your mind, remember?) and what destroys fear faster than you can say lickety-split? Courage. Faith. Determination. Focus. I would add a generous, all-you-can-eat buffet style serving of Self Love and its cohort, Forgiveness. Grace will flavor it nicely and keep things from getting soured by ego and old wounds we’ve never tended to.

This is a recipe for not only happiness, but to ensure that the lifetime you’ll be spending with yourself is a lifetime free of self-loathing, regret and the deep and dark hole we dig when trying to deny the truth of who we are, what we need to survive and what we need to thrive. Fear will ensure that you will be held in stasis; no growth, no healing, no movement, no change in flow or direction. Realizing that we already have the power to confront and overcome the fear is our superpower and it’s there when we are ready to become who we are meant to be and accomplish all those things we want accomplish before our earthly time has come to an end.

As always, these are just my opinions and experiences. Yours may differ completely or you may find some similarity. We are all ever-changing and becoming so it’s never a pass/fail situation. So long as you are living and breathing and doing and being, you are winning in the ways that really matter. You are showing up for your life and 99% of everything is simply showing up.

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